Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Need some help here...

Hi everyone!

First, thank you SO much for all the warm wishes and welcome backs and compliments about the house. I love this house (besides the earwigs) even more than our other houses we have had and I can see us here for a long time.

Someone asked if I read Run For Cookies blog because she had a tummy tuck. Yes. I read Katie's blog. In fact she lives in Michigan and has run some of the same races I have though I have not personally met her yet.

One problem with having insurance cover a tuck for me is this:
I dont have rashes from loose skin or issues because of it. I mean dont get me wrong. I could make rashes by itching myself raw. Every once in a while that happens. BUT it isnt often enough to have it documented by a doctor. SO that means that I need to pay out of pocket. It is ok though.

Onto today:
I said today I needed some help. Here is the situation.

There is a boy that is a year older than Xavier that lives a few houses from us.

He is the second youngest. He has a sister that is a year younger and is Xaviers age. He has another sister that is 10 and a brother that looks like he is a teenager (think peach fuzz mustache).

His dad just got out of the armed forces. His mom is a stay at home and they have one car. They rent the house.

We have met the mom and dad briefly one night for about 30 minutes when Aaron walked over and introduced himself to them with the boys. I went over after I got home from Zumba. The parents were not really talkative to us at all. A bit here or there but no big conversations.

Since then, the boy, we will call him M, has been over every day and multiple times a day.

There is nothing wrong with that but I am starting to feel like a sitter. And red flags are starting to raise up.

M is very polite. In fact one day Xavier started to talk back and M said that he should really listen to me. How wonderful right? No flag there...BUT...

But this kids parents are never seen outside the house. M walks up and down the street with no one looking after him. Our street is fairly quiet but ends on a very BUSY street and while we are down from it quite a bit, M has been seen up there with no parent.

Many times M comes over and asks if he can stay for dinner-as in immediately asks. Or if it is raining out if he can play inside. I have avoided him playing inside because I have been trying to unpack and didnt want to clean up after toys.

Now M does run home to check in with his parents. Thats good.

Saturday a neighbor was shooting off fireworks at the end of the street. It was about 10:30 and Aaron and I went on the front porch to watch them. WELL M and his 10 yr old sister were outside wandering. No parents. No nothing. The door wasnt even open and the blinds werent open either. Absolutely no supervision. M saw us and asked about Xavier and Landry and where they were. To which we replied that they were asleep. WTF?? At this point it is almost 11pm.

Two days ago M brought over a friend and his mom and his little brother who were out biking. M wanted his friend to play here too. I had no problem with that and the mom and I started talking and I said how I started to feel like a babysitter. Well she mentioned that she found M down at this busy road. It raised some flags with her too. She didnt want her son to play here initially because she was worried about supervision. So I invited her and her kids in the backyard to play and we started chatting. M ran home to get his parents so they could meet his friend and his mom and when he showed back up with his dad, this mom mentioned about M wandering around by the busy road. This kid is 7 btw... The dad brushed it off and said that he has a friend that lives down by the end of the street. He asked me if M had any fits because he is "ODD or ADD..whatever" and has those at home. I said no he has been fine. M mentioned wanting his mom to meet his friends mom and the dad said " needs her breaks just like these moms" to which I thought...who the heck gets a break when your kid is over here all the time!!

But that night he came over again and I was gone to teach Zumba. Aaron said M could come in and play and he asked for a snack. Well Aaron said no not right now and M said he hadnt eaten since he had some eggs for breakfast. WTF really? Aaron wasnt sure if he was just fibbing in order to eat something but thought if that was the case he really needed to eat. M proceeded to pound down a hot dog, veggies and some puffed popcorn.

About 8pm his 10 yr old sister came looking for him. I asked if she was looking for M and she said "yes. We cant find him". I said he was in the basement and the kids were picking up and I would send him home. She said ok because his mom was looking for him.

If my child went missing, I would be going crazy. Outside calling for them...going to their friends know. Nothing out of the parents. Just sending the sister looking for him. WTF?

Now another thing is that this 10 yr old sister does not smile. At all. M said something about his sister either being to shy to smile or doesnt like to smile but it raises a flag. I am not sure if that is a 10 yr old girl age thing or not. Maybe someone can help me out with that.

M never says "lets play at my house" or anything like that. Seems odd to me though I like knowing where my kids are. Aaron doesnt want the kids to go down there at all anyways. Too many little questionable things. He doesnt know if the dad is PTSD after being in the armed forces or if the mom and dad are trying to get reacquainted after he was deployed. We just dont know. All we know is that we never really see them.

And then yesterday M didnt come over at all. I can assume that he got grounded because of him being inside the house or out too late or not checking in. And I guess I would agree with him being grounded if he didnt do something that he was supposed to. But it is sort of the lack of reaction on the part of the parents that really worries me.

I am just not sure what to do. Do I just keep my ears open to what is going on? Do I talk to the parents? I dont want anything to be taken out against M though the kid doesnt have any bruises or anything on them.

And one more thing...M was across the street at another kids house and said something about that kid smoking pot. Something like "B is smoking pot! B is smoking pot!" Now the kid obviously wasnt. But what 7 yr old knows about pot? I know my kids dont. But then again, we dont have it in our house and I dont allow my kids to watch shows that have it in it. Maybe with having older siblings in the house he is more exposed to it?

And we NEVER see the 6 yr old younger sister. Maybe once M brought her over to play.

And M comes over all the time- with the exception of yesterday. When I say the kids cant play he asks what he did? Nothing. They need to cool down from the heat or Xavier got grounded a day..etc.  Or if we run errands he immediately comes over and says "where were you guys?"

Am I reading into this? I just think it is REALLY hands off parenting. But the kid is learning manners from somewhere.

Every once in a while M comes over with a hot pocket or a sundae his mom got him from the ice cream place the end of the street at the busy road. It seems weird he brings food over here to eat when no one else over here is eating. I dont particularly care for that because then my kids want what he has or they want to eat when it could ruin their meal...etc.

Or if we tell him it is time to go because we are going to eat he says "ok I will wait here". It is like his parents told him not to come home or that he cant go home or he doesnt want to go home.

Let me know what you think.

Have a great day everyone. Today I am signing us up for the rec center and we may hit the pool tonight with the kids. Should be fun.


  1. That is seriously odd about that situation. I have no clue what I would do in your shoes. I'm a over-thinker too where I am paranoid about certain things. I think continue monitoring the situation and see if your own kids spill anything because I find kids open up to each other more readily.

    This kid M seems extremely reliant on your family which is odd. He might not be getting enough attention at home.

  2. I have never personally experienced this, but I know there are a lot of kids out there, in this crazy day and age, wandering at all ages, all over the place. 1 friend had 3 neighbors from across the street over all the time. The youngest wasn't even 2! That is definitely babysitting to me! Some people just don't seem to care and shouldn't have had children in the 1st place.

    I would continue to keep the playdates at your house and, unfortunately, come up with excuses or things to do where you won't be responsible for this kid. You know the parents will come pounding down your door if something happens. Now you'll have to be like members of the witness protection program, checking if his car is in their driveway or his bike is at your front door. Or, you'll be a prisoner in your own house, like when the Jehovah's Witnesses come knocking! that's so not fair to you or your kids! When school starts will you be helping with his homework too? Squash it now!