Getting Anxious

Ok so I am going to be honest here and admit that I am getting a little anxious.

I think yesterdays reminder about the surgery that "would have been" has something to do with it.

I look at myself in the mirror everyday and I am not seeing changes even though I am kicking butt both inside and outside of the gym- both in working out and in the food that I am eating.

I think because of this, I am really wanting to take a picture and compare it to my picture that I took on Dec 27th to see if there are ANY changes at all. However, I really don't want to get disappointed if there isn't and that is what is stopping me. I mean, it hasn't even been 30 days yet and I am only on week 2 of P90X.

I found the above saying and thought it was pretty relevant to how I am feeling today. It would have been SO much easier just to have had the surgery. Yes I would have been in pain and had some financing cost but it would have been done. I SO badly want a flat stomach. I want to be able to tuck in shirts and buy any type of clothes that I want.

The thing that scares me most, is what if my stomach doesn't shrink? Most of what is there is loose skin. I know there is fat behind it and that is partly what is making it hang, but that is how I feel and my biggest worry. A flat stomach to me- symbolizes the end of the "transformation" process even though it isn't the end of the new lifestyle.

Ugh. I will not quit. I will not take the easy road. I have now had my pity party and will pick myself back up, dust myself off, and get my butt back to the gym.

Speaking of the gym, let me recap:
Last night I didn't do a hardcore warm up run. My legs were too sore and my knee was a little achy. Because I have major exercise coming up Saturday, I settled with a 4.5-5.0 mph run. I got in 35 minutes with both running and cool down and ran a total 2.66 miles. Not horrible.

I went lighter on the weights during Body Pump. After yoga that morning, my legs were killing me and after raising my weight during P90X arms and shoulders the night before, I didn't push it and over do it. I don't want to overtrain and injure myself.

I didn't think I would make it thru CX, but it is such a good core workout, I gutted it out.

In total, calories burned at the gym last night was 1200.

This morning I completed P90X legs, back and abs. Yummy burning in the legs! Calories burned: 544. Not a bad way to start the day!

Tonight means zumba and CX again. I will probably do the light warm up run. It is a great way to get the sweat going down the body and it makes me feel like I am accomplishing something when I sweat thru my sweatshirt. Gross but true!

Tip of the Day: From Clean Eating Magazine is about a food label

Whats the difference between a serving and a portion??

"A serving is a quantity of food suitable for one person. A portion, on the other hand, is the amount of food you choose to eat, whether it is a slice of cake or the whole thing. You're better to stick to servings if you don't want to overdo the calories. The serving size is always printed on the nutrition label. Did you know the recommended serving size of oatmeal is only half a cup? Many of us make the mistake of pouring out an amount of food using only our eyeballs or our stomach to gauge what is enough. In most cases, it's way too much. Stick to servings, not guesstimated portions."